If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
~James 4:17 (NIV)

This is one of my favorite verses in Scripture because it reminds me that sin isn’t just doing something bad but can also be not doing something good. If we know the good we ought to do but do not do it, we sin. This has been called the sin of omission, not doing a good thing.

First you must know what is good before you can do it. I see people paralyzed by their own insecurities of doing the good thing they know they ought to do. A spouse that allows the excuses, rationalizations and justifications to trump the good they know they ought to do in their marriages.

It takes maturity to love freely and to be freely loved. It takes maturity because you first must realize that only God can validate you. Others will fail you, even your spouse. Your acts of intimacy (not just sex) may not be accepted by your spouse and that lack of validation can hurt. What we fail to understand is that their failure to accept our act of intimacy says more about their own maturity than it does about us being lovable. We need to learn to forgive our spouse’s limitations while we continue to seek growth and maturity in ourselves and our marriage.

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