The eye cannot see what the mind cannot fathom.

I’ve had the quote above in my draft box for months. I’ve known there is something in this quote for marriage but each time I’ve begun to write it just hasn’t been there.

So, here’s the thing, we all have our blind spots, things or areas of our life where we don’t see or fathom. Others may see them and may even wonder why we do not. For my wife and I it was when we heard Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talk about The Crazy Cycle. We’d been on if for years but we didn’t know it until we heard someone describing it to us. It was one of the ah-ha moments for both of us and it was the beginning of a change for the better in our marriage.

We had already accepted that my spouse is not my enemy but we both still had bad habits of withholding what the other wanted, needed or desired because we weren’t getting what we wanted, needed or desired from the other. Do you see how that’s crazy and how it is cyclical and leaves everyone unsatisfied?

We were blind to this until we heard someone else explain our behavior to us. We both knew there was something not quite right. We both knew that we were marriage to a good-willed spouse. We just hadn’t been honest enough with each other or ourselves about how our behaviors were contributing to our experience.

Do you need help in seeing what your mind cannot fathom? What are the blind spots holding you back?