prude noun One who is excessively concerned with being or appearing to be proper, modest, or righteous. Wordnic.com There is an old saying that a person can be so heavenly focused that they are of little earthly good. In other words, their focus on appearing proper, modest, or righteous makes them of little earthly use. […]
Control or Intimacy, You Can’t Have Both
A quote I read recently attributed to Laura Boyle made some things click for me. Control and intimacy are opposites. I can have one or the other, not both. ~Laura Doyle This quote clarified how Dr. David Schnarch’s (affiliate link) articles People Have Sex Within The Limits of Their Development, People Who Can’t Control Themselves […]
It’s Called SELF-Confidence for a Reason
In my non-online, real life I am challenged to live up to the ideals I espouse online. I’ve never said any of this is easy. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve said that it isn’t easy. It’s difficult. I am on record however of saying that working through the difficulties is worth the joy on […]
Dealing with the Past in the Present
There are a lot of hurting people out there. Many of them have been abused and the abuser is still controlling them years after the abuse has stopped. The abuse is reflected in the sexual menu of their marriage. There are strict limits on the sexual activities that these couples can experience together. Couples physical […]
Another Post About Sex, Kinda…
This has been rattling around in the back of my brain for sometime so bear with me. As usual Paul Byerly of The Generous Husband and The Marriage Bed wrote a post, If I Don’t Admit it, It’s Not True, that finally dislodged this thought from the back of my brain and forced me to […]
Because It’s The Right Thing To Do…
Paul Byerly’s post Control is Often an Illusion over at The Generous Husband prompted me to finally write this post that I’ve been mulling over for awhile. In that post Paul challenges us with the words, “Let’s be less about control and more about doing what we should do.” (emphasis added) It seems fairly obvious […]
Control Yourself
Much of what I write about boils down to one thing, self-control. One of the things I’m finally learning in my mid-40s is that maturity and self-control go hand-in-hand. I began to realize this while reading Passionate Marriage (affiliate link). Remaining calm in the face of conflict allows you to control your response instead of […]
It’s All About Control
This morning Lisa Merlo-Booth (@LisaMerloBooth) tweeted, “Get ur eyes off the other person & pay attention to what u’re doing. Control ur behaviors cuz u can’t control theirs.” Her tweet got me to thinking about the time we waste focusing on what we cannot control. This time would be much better spent on what we […]
Low Drive, High Drive Dichotomy
As we talked about in Do You Have a High Drive? there is this unseen element at work in every marriage that I call the dichotomy of the high drive and low drive. This dichotomy more than any other thing will put pressure on your marriage. How well you and your spouse handle that pressure […]
Marriage Ministries – Some Are Better Th
You won’t catch me ragging on any specific ministries but there are some things that everyone should know. One of the signs of a good ministry is that they work on you and leave your spouse to God’s hand. Any marriage “ministry” that claims a poor marriage is sole the responsibility of the husband or […]