I finally have something to say after a long dry spell. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and kind words during this difficult time.
Something I read recently made me realize that there are two options to the challenges we face in our lives and our marriages.
1. Accept it and live with it.
2. Don’t accept it and do something about it.
Too often we choose number 1 just because it is the path of least resistance. We allow things to happen to us. We allow circumstances to dictate to us. Accepting what comes our way and living with it doesn’t really require any work from us. Occasionally it may even be the right answer. Often however, it isn’t the right answer. If you are unhappy, frustrated, unfulfilled in your marriage, what can you do about it?
1. Accept it and live with it.
2. Don’t accept it and do something about it.
If you choose number 1 your marriage is going to remain as it is, unhappy, frustrating and unfulfilled. The other option is to do something about it. The question is, what can I do about it?
In the post What Works in Making a Better Marital Relationship we talk about some of the things that you can do to make your relationship better. We’ve also talked about accepting the unacceptable in your marriage.
Two things that can improve marriages are, FIRST, being a better spouse and, second, not accepting the unacceptable from our spouse.
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I’ve always found that variety is what adds newness to our marriage. Not variety in weird way with other people but just doing something different or doing the same things in new locations. Yes, the intimate part is included in this but not limited to it. People got to change things up. Just like stagnant water, if a marriage is stagnant it starts to stink.
I had a wise college professor who often said, “When you pray for a person or situation, one of two things will happen:
1. The person or situation will change.
2. You will change.”
Becoming a better spouse is a lot of hard work. Sometimes part of the problem is me. When I humble myself and become a better wife, I facilitate the climate that helps my spouse change.