{"id":18,"date":"2011-03-31T08:55:24","date_gmt":"2011-03-31T12:55:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agrownupmarriage.com\/?p=18"},"modified":"2015-06-12T14:04:06","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T18:04:06","slug":"do-you-have-a-high-drive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/do-you-have-a-high-drive\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Have a High Drive?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe src=\"http:\/\/rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/cm?lt1=_blank&#038;bc1=000000&#038;IS2=1&#038;bg1=FFFFFF&#038;fc1=000000&#038;lc1=0000FF&#038;t=tfwd0c-20&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as4&#038;m=amazon&#038;f=ifr&#038;ref=ss_til&#038;asins=0393334279\" style=\"width:120px;height:240px;\" scrolling=\"no\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><strong>Disclaimer<\/strong>:\u00a0 <em>My wife has never made me lima beans.<\/em> Thank you, Angel.<\/p>\n<p>You may think that the title of this post has to do with sex.\u00a0 Well, it does and it doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 It has to do with preferences and how those preferences impact our marriage relationship.<\/p>\n<p>We are all entitled to our preferences.\u00a0 For example, I\u2019m not a big fan of lima beans but some people like them. \u00a0I have no problem with people liking lima beans because they can have their lima beans and I can leave them alone.\u00a0 However, when we enter marriage these preferences begin to impact, and sometimes clash with, the preferences of the person to whom we are married.  Let\u2019s go back to the lima beans example, if my wife likes them that still isn\u2019t a problem unless she finds it odd that I don\u2019t like them and tries to convince me that I do like them or thinks that I <em>should<\/em> like them.\u00a0 Now in this example my wife would be high drive for lima beans and I would be low drive for them.<\/p>\n<p>So, let\u2019s say that my wife in an effort to get me to like lima beans decides that once a week that will be our vegetable for supper.\u00a0 Because I don\u2019t like lima beans I pass on eating any of the lima beans.\u00a0 Because her goal was to get me to like them, because in her mind lima beans are great, my decision to not eat the lima beans may offend her.\u00a0 If she were to bring up the fact that I\u2019m not eating any lima beans I\u2019d let her know that I really hate the taste and texture of lima beans and it\u2019s OK if she wants them but I\u2019m not going to eat any.\u00a0 So she quits making lima beans, which is fine with me because I don\u2019t like them, but it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.<\/p>\n<p>Now in the case of the lima beans which spouse controlled the situation more regarding the lima beans, the low drive spouse or the high drive spouse?\u00a0 <span class=\"bluetext\">It\u2019s the low drive spouse and it will be the low drive spouse in just about any situation whether that\u2019s saving money or spending time with family.<\/span>\u00a0 The low drive spouse will control the when, how long, how much and how often of whatever the desire is.<\/p>\n<p>This becomes more of a problem with things that are mutually exclusive choices unlike eating lima beans.\u00a0 For example do we spend the money or do we save it.\u00a0 Even in that there is some room for compromise but the low drive for savings spouse is going to control just how much actually ends up getting saved in most cases.\u00a0 Where low drive versus high drive <em>really<\/em> stresses a relationship is in something that is truly mutually exclusive such as sex.\u00a0 My wife can choose to have lima beans and I can choose to leave them alone, but when it comes to sex we\u2019re either having it together or we\u2019re not having it at all.\u00a0 Any \u201csubstitute\u201d is either sinful (adultery) or not the unifying experience that sex is <em>supposed to be<\/em> between married couples.\u00a0 It is true also that the low drive spouse for sex will dictate the when, where, how often, position, etc. of marital sex.<\/p>\n<p>In future posts we\u2019ll take a closer look at the low drive\/high drive dichotomy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>NOTE<\/strong>:\u00a0 The idea of low drive vs. high drive came from <a href=\"http:\/\/passionatemarriage.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>Passionate Marriage<\/em><\/a> <span class=\"afflink\">(affiliate link)<\/span> and <a href=\"http:\/\/desirebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>Intimacy and Desire<\/em><\/a> <span class=\"afflink\">(affiliate link)<\/span> by Dr. David Schnarch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Disclaimer:\u00a0 My wife has never made me lima beans. Thank you, Angel. You may think that the title of this post has to do with sex.\u00a0 Well, it does and it doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 It has to do with preferences and how those preferences impact our marriage relationship. We are all entitled to our preferences.\u00a0 For example, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[24,31,30,6,27,28,7],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Do You Have a High Drive?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You may think that the title of this post has to do with sex. 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