{"id":1359,"date":"2013-02-14T10:56:09","date_gmt":"2013-02-14T15:56:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agrownupmarriage.com\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2015-04-21T12:59:52","modified_gmt":"2015-04-21T16:59:52","slug":"it-takes-more-than-a-yes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/","title":{"rendered":"It Takes More Than a, Yes&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On this Saint Valentine&#8217;s Day I&#8217;m going to write about <span class=\"bluetext\">duty sex<\/span>.  No, it&#8217;s not a very romantic topic, but, many of you are giving it or are receiving it so I thought I write about it.  We talk a lot about intimacy and how true intimacy, allowing one&#8217;s true self to be known, can be intimidating and duty sex is one of the many ways a lack of intimacy reveals itself in your marriage bed.  What is duty sex?  Basically it&#8217;s the physical act of sex without the emotional or spiritual intimacy.  It&#8217;s doing your physical duty without living up to your spiritual duty.  It&#8217;s devoid of emotion, charity, and self or, if there is an emotion, it&#8217;s a grudging tolerance.  In other words, it&#8217;s very unsatisfying for the receiver and it does nothing to enhance the giver either.<\/p>\n<p>Why do people resort to duty sex?  Keeping the letter of the law while ignoring the Spirit of the law.  In other words, they don&#8217;t want to be accused of refusing their spouse sex but they don&#8217;t want to be accused of anyone actually enjoying the act either.  I&#8217;ve heard it described as allowing one&#8217;s body be used by their spouse as a masturbatory device.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"bluetext\">The sexual union to be fulfilling must move beyond just the physical and must reach into the emotional whether that emotion is loving tenderness or red hot passion.<\/span>  It&#8217;s more than just saying, &#8220;Yes.&#8221;  It&#8217;s sometimes being the one to initiate.  It&#8217;s being present and engaged.  It&#8217;s about offering yourself and your sexuality to your spouse and not just your body.  It&#8217;s about being known and getting to know your spouse better.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, real sex, non-duty sex, is for grown ups.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On this Saint Valentine&#8217;s Day I&#8217;m going to write about duty sex. No, it&#8217;s not a very romantic topic, but, many of you are giving it or are receiving it so I thought I write about it. We talk a lot about intimacy and how true intimacy, allowing one&#8217;s true self to be known, can [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[192,41],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Intimacy Takes More Than a, Yes...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We talk a lot about intimacy and how true intimacy, duty sex is one of the many ways a lack of intimacy reveals itself in your marriage bed.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Intimacy Takes More Than a, Yes...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We talk a lot about intimacy and how true intimacy, duty sex is one of the many ways a lack of intimacy reveals itself in your marriage bed.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Grown Up Marriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AGrownUpMarriage?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AGrownUpMarriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-02-14T15:56:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-04-21T16:59:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kentucky Colonel\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@grownupmarriage\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@grownupmarriage\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kentucky Colonel\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/\",\"name\":\"Intimacy Takes More Than a, Yes...\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-02-14T15:56:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-04-21T16:59:52+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/#\/schema\/person\/36e5cfcaf26d7006127483e728c4299c\"},\"description\":\"We talk a lot about intimacy and how true intimacy, duty sex is one of the many ways a lack of intimacy reveals itself in your marriage bed.\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/it-takes-more-than-a-yes\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jodymcbride.com\/agrownupmarriage.com\/\",\"name\":\"A Grown Up Marriage\",\"description\":\"In marriage you either grow up or grow apart. 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